Greeting beautiful people, yes, it’s Testimony Tuesday and I’d like to welcome you to The Believer’s Corner. For those of you who have been stopping by The Believer’s Corner, welcome back and for those of you who are new comers, welcome. I encourage all of you to like, subscribe and share this blog with others.
I want to turn your attention to the title of today’s blog. Well, have you? I mean I get it, there’s so much that can transpire in the course of a day, a week, a month, a year, a, well, you get the picture. My point is, it’s easy to forget some of the storms we’ve been through, some of our triumphs, some of the fights we’ve had to fight through; it’s even easy to have to be reminded of some of our small victories and accomplishments. So with that being said, I urge you to pause for a moment and reflect on where you’ve been and what you’ve journeyed through; no, really, I want you to think about it- like right now. Ok, so now that you’ve done that, was there anything that came back to your remembrance? Did you have a “THANK YOU LORD” (and yes, I shouted it) moment like I did during my time of reflection this morning? I’ll ask the question again and you can ponder on it a little deeper after you read this blog, “Have you forgotten what God has allowed you to fight through?”
I asked that question because (and yes, I was serious about shouting during my time of reflection this morning) as I was thinking about my next right move as an entrepreneur and the enemy was trying to creep in and tell me that what I was envisioning was going to be too hard; I was reminded of things that the Lord allowed me to fight through and not just come out on top, but come out victorious. You see the fact that He allowed me to come out on the other side is a true victory.
I want to share a story with you that the Lord reminded me of this morning; it’s a story that I’ve been quite ashamed of as a matter of fact. While folks who know me know that I am a private person I’m also very transparent. However, I will admit (and I KNOW I’m not the only one) there are some burdens I’ve carried where the only other person who knew of them was God the Father Himself. Now before you get all hyped, (because I can feel you all leaning in J) it’s probably not as juicy as you are expecting, so pull back a little and calm down; I just want to drive home a point. The situation God reminded me of was a when I realized for the first time in my young twenty year old life that sometimes life will throw you in the ring whether you’re ready or not. You know what I mean right, like when you were a kid playing hide and go seek and the person who was appointed to seek finishes counting and you haven’t found a good hiding spot because all the big kids took the best hiding spots and pushed you away because they know you might get them caught. Uh um, I digress; I KNOW I’m not the only one! Anyway, I had just transferred to Howard University and while it was a big adjustment, I was adjusting nonetheless, but then life started with what seemed to be hitting me blow by blow and believe me at twenty years old you think you’re grown until life proves to you just how grown you are or in my case, aren’t.
It’s was February 25th, 2000 and I was reviewing for an exam in my upstairs bedroom that I had later that day when I heard my brother in a state of panic run up to the main level of our home to tell our Mother that there was a fire in the laundry room. I ran downstairs and followed behind my Mother as she rushed towards the basement. We got halfway down the stairs before rolls of smoke met us midway. My Mother turned back toward me, instructing me to get out of the house. We both went to the back of the house, determined that we were going to extinguish the fire; Mom grabbed the hose and I turned on the faucet simultaneously unraveling the hose. My Mother never panicked in a crisis situation, not even then as she looked at me while tossing the hose to the ground I could see her heart sink. We both knew that hose was our last hope in that moment; she calmly said, “it’s frozen, (it had snowed a week or so prior) get away from the house” as she motioned with both her hands to go back to the front of the house.
As if the blows from that incident weren’t enough, life decided to take another swing. On April 25th, 2000 (exactly 2 months later), my sister and I decided Mom had been through so much and was dealing with not being in her home that we were planning her birthday party that was coming up in June. After some planning we wanted to go and check on Mom and we knew just where to find her, at her house cleaning up what she could. As we pulled up we both were surprised at what we saw, there was one neighbor trying to lock the front door and another sitting behind Mom rocking her back and forth. I jumped out of the passenger side and ran up the stairs as I got to the top of the stairs and made my way up the walkway it seemed like everything was in slow motion at that point. I could hear the Holy Spirit tell me that my Mother had a stroke. I picked her up, put one arm around her waist and put her arm around my neck; I can still hear the sound of the bottom of her sneaker scrapping the pavement as she tried to walk. I put her in my sister’s car and she rushed her to the nearest hospital. I locked the door and jumped in my Mother’s car all while asking God not to take our Mother. That hospital ended up medevac’ing her to another hospital. By this time all five of us are there waiting for the helicopter to arrive. After the doctor evaluated her he let us know the next 48 hours were the most critical, however, in what seemed to be all in one breath, he pretty much told us that we should start thinking about making arrangements.
I shared so many details of this story with you to again, drive home my point; you see, my life at the age of twenty changed drastically; it was never the same after that. My grades suffered terribly; here is the part I never shared with anyone all these years, (until I recently had to write an essay and was led to finally share this) my grades didn’t just drop, on paper, I was a failing student and according to the University’s policy, I qualified for academic probation. The next move for me was dismissal. I was in a season where life was hitting me blow by blow and I had no idea how to stick and move to dodge the impact. Again, I never shared that with anyone, not even then; I was too ashamed. This was a storm I was willing to go through by myself; besides my Mother was in no condition to be worried about me. The next move for me was dismissal and I knew I would be even more ashamed if I was dismissed, because that would be pretty hard to keep from anyone. I had classmates that made jokes because I was working full-time and going to school full-time; they would tell me there was no way I was going to graduate if I kept that up. I’d sometimes hear the ripple affect of snickering as I rushed into class late coming from work and having to return afterwards. They didn’t know my story and when they would ask why, I ‘d just tell them that I had to; it didn’t make sense to them, but it made perfect sense for my situation at the time. There were internships I had to turn down and programs my professor wanted me to get involved in but couldn’t. Some didn’t think I deserved to be there, but I knew I deserved to be there just as much as anyone else and all I had to do was keep pressing. Coming off academic probation was a major accomplishment for me; I knew then that anything was possible. For some graduation was their victory, but for me, every semester I completed was a victory; deciding to return to school after sitting out a semester, was a victory.
Why now, why share this part of your story that you were so ashamed of, you ask. Why not! What right do I really have not to share this story? The Lord allowed it to be my story so that I would share it, so that someone who may be in a similar situation will know, that it possible. Perhaps if I had shared with someone what I was going through then I wouldn’t have had to carry that burden alone. Perhaps someone who is carrying a burden now needs to know they don’t have to carry their burden alone. I’m sharing this story to let those who are reading this know that when you’re trying to decide if you should “play it safe” or take the risk and do what you know in your heart and soul you should be doing, but you don’t because you think it may be too hard; fight through. Think about the hard stuff you’ve already fought through by God’s grace. If that’s you, then I challenge you to reflect on the grace and mercy God has given you to fight through thus far; I mean really look at yourself in the mirror and as you take notice of your spiritual and even physical battle wounds, I want you to also take note of the fact that you are still here.
This, my friend is my story, your story may be different, but what I can assure you is the same, is that God has allowed you to fight through some storms and you’re still here. What may seem like small victories to some may be huge milestones for you, but remember it’s God’s grace that allowed you to fight through. It’s never too late, if you’re thinking about what your next right move should be, seek God and know that He has allowed you to overcome before, there’s no reason He wouldn’t allow you to overcome again. Now keep in mind it may not look the way you think it should and you may encounter some bumps and bruises, but I’m willing to bet you’ll be victorious nonetheless.
Blessings to you all from The Believer’s Corner,
Testimony Lyrical Artist